Such an Antagonist hath Fortune allotted me, to 
purge melanacholy, and to thrust me vpon the Stage: which 
I must now loade, like the old subiect of my new prayse. 
There is no warring with Destiny: and the Lord of my 
leysure will haue it so. Much good may it do the puppy 
of S. Fame, so to confute, and so to be confuted. Where 
his intelligence faileth, (as God wotteth, it faileth often) 
he will be so bold, without more inquiry, to checke the 
common sense of Reason, with the proper sense of his I­
magination, infinitly more high in conceit, then deepe in 
vnderstanding: and where any phrase, or word presumeth
to approch within his swing, that was not before enrow­
led in the Common-places of his paperbooke, it is pre­
sently meere Inkhornisme: albeit he might haue heard 
thesame from a thousand mouthes of Iudgement, or read 
it in more then an hundred writings of estimation. Pytha­
goras Silence was woont to be a rule for Ignorance, or Im­
maturity: (no better bitt for vnlearned, or vnexpert youth, 
then Pythagoras Silence:) but Vnderstand, or not Vnder­
stand, both are one: if he vnderstand, it is Dunsery: if he



vnderstand not, it is either Cabalisme in matter, or Ink­
hornisme in forme: whether he be ripe, or vnripe, all is 
raw, or rotten, that pleaseth not his Imperiall tast. Had he 
euer studied any Pragmaticall Discourse; or perused any 
Treaties of Confederacy, of peace, of truce, of intercourse, 
of other forrein negotations (that is specially noted for 
one of my Inkhorne wordes); or researched any actes, and 
monuments, Ciuill, or Ecclesiasticall; or looked into any 
Lawes, Statutes, Iniunctions, Proclamations, (na, it is one 
of his witty flowtes, He beginnes, like a Proclamation: but 
few Treatises better penned, then some Proclamations): or 
had he seene any autenticall instruments, Pragmatique ar­
ticles, or other Politique Traicts: he would rather haue 
woondred I should Vse so fewe formall termes, (which I 
purposely auoided, as not so vulgarly familiar) then haue 
maruelled at any, which I vsed. He is of no reading in com­
parison, that doth not acknowledge euery terme in those 
Letters to be autenticall English; and allow a thousand o­
ther ordinary Pragmaticall termes, more straunge then the 
straungest in those Letters, yet current at occasion. The 
ignorant Idiot (for so I will prooue him in very truth) con­
futeth the artificiall wordes, which he neuer read: but the 
vayne fellow (for so he prooueth himselfe in word, and 
deede) in a phantasticall emulation presumeth to forge a 
mishapen rablement of absurde, and ridiculous wordes, 
the proper bodges of his newfangled figure, called Foole­
risme: such as Inkhornisme, Absonisme, the most copious 
Carminist, thy Carminicall art, a Prouiditore of young Schol­
lars, a Corrigidore of incongruitie, a quest of Caualieros, Ina­
moratos on their workes, a Theologicall Gimpanado, a Dromi­
dote Ergonist, sacrilegiously contaminated, decrepite capacitie, fi­
ctionate person, humour vnconuersable, merriments vnexilable,



the horrisonant pipe of inueterate antiquitie; and a number of 
such Inkhornish phrases, as it were a pan of outlandish col­
lops, the very bowels of his profoundest Schollerisme. For 
his Eloquence passeth my intelligence, that cleapeth him­
selfe a Calimunco, for pleading his Companions cause in his
owne Apology: and me a Pistlepragmos, for defending my 
frendes in my Letters: and very artificially interfuseth Fini­
callitie, sillogistrie, disputatiue right, hermaphrodite phrases,
declamatorie stiles, censoriall moralizers, vnlineall vsurpers of 
iudgement, infamizers of vice, new infringement to destitute the 
inditement, deriding dunstically, banging abominationly, vnhand­
soming of diuinityship, absurdifying of phrases, ratifying of
truthable and eligible English, a calme dilatement of forward 
harmefulnesse, and backward irefulnesse, and how many sun­
dry dishes of such dainty fritters? rare iunkets, and a deli­
cate seruice for him, that compiled the most delitious Com­
mentaries, De optimitate triparum. And what say you 
Boyes, the flatteringest hope of your moothers, to a Porch 
of Panim Pilfryes, Pestred with Prayses? Dare the pertest, or
deftest of you, hunt the letter, or hauke a metaphor, with 
such a Tite-tute-tate? He weeneth himselfe a speciall pen­
man; as he were the headman of the Panfletting crew, next, 
and immediately after Greene: and although he be a harsh 
Oratour with his toungue, (euen the filed Suada of Iso­
crates, wanted the voyce of a Siren, or the sound of an 
Eccho) yet would he seeme as fine a Secretary with his 
penne, as euer was Bembus in Latin, or Macchiauell in Ita­
lian, or Gueuara in Spanish, or Amiot in French: and with 
a confidence preasseth into the rowte of that humorous 
ranke, that affecteth the reputation of supreme Singularity. 
But he must craue a little more acquaintance at the hand 
of Art, and serue an apprentishood of some nine, or ten



yeares in the shop of curious Imitation (for his wild Phan­
tasie will not be allowed to maintaine comparison with 
curious Imitation) before he will be hable to performe the 
twentith, or fortith part of that sufficiency, whereunto 
the cranknesse of his Imagination already aspireth; as more 
exquisite, then the Atticisme of Isocrates, or more puissant 
then the fury of Tasso. But how insolently soeuer grose 
Ignorance presumeth of itselfe, (none so hawty, as the ba­
sest Bussard): or how desperatly soeuer foole-hardy Am­
bition aduaunceth his owne colours, (none so foole-har­
dy, as the blindest Hobb): I haue seldome read a more ga­
rish, and pibald stile in any scribling Inkhornist; or tasted 
a more vnsauory slaumpaump of wordes, and sentences 
in any sluttish Pamfletter; that denounceth not defiance 
against the rules of Oratory, and the directions of the En­
glish Secretary. Which may here, and there stumble vp­
on some tolerable sentence, neighbourly borrowed, or 
featly picked out of some fresh Pamflet: but shall neuer 
finde three sentences togither, worth any allowance: and 
as for a fine, or neat period, in the dainty and pithy Veyne 
of Isocrates, or Xenophon, marry that were a periwig of 
a Siren, or a wing of the very bird of Arabia, an inestima­
ble relique. Tush a point, neither curious Hermogenes, 
nor trim Isocrates, nor stately Demosthenes, are for his 
tooth: nor painting Tully, nor caruing Cæsar, nor pur­
ple-dying Liuy, for his humour. It is for Cheeke, or As­
cham, to stand leuelling of Colons, or squaring of Pe­
riods, by measure, and number: his penne is like a spigot; 
and the Wine-presse a dullard to his Ink-presse. There is 
a certaine liuely, and frisking thing, of a queint, and capri­
cious nature, as peerlesse as namelesse, and as admirable, 
as singular, that scorneth to be a booke-woorme, or to imi­



tate the excellentest artificiality of the most renowned
worke-masters, that antiquity affourdeth.